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How to restore intimacy in your broken marriage!

How to restore intimacy in your broken marriage!

THINGS YOU MUST DO

1.Push your partner in a positive way.

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BLESSING KANHIWA 
Therapist | Business Coach | Author | Entrepreneur 
CEO Sparkulous Pvt Ltd. 
About me Read more...

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A lot of people a scared of teaching their husband or wife things to do with improving their sexual life, well the truth is you don’t have to be scared.

Encourage your partner but also being patient with them, its just like in the gym muscles don’t grow over night but take time.

Talk less of their failure’s and more of their success also where you see signs of potential maximize by pushing them gentle so they can be a master in the bedroom game.

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1.1 Tell them

If you love your partner tell them in a loving way exactly how you want to be touched, kissed etc being precise and clear.

Truth is they might not even know, since different people have different desires.

‘Honey I love you but I like it when you thrust fast’ or ‘honey I love you but I like it when you thrust slow’

This level of openness in our marriages brings us close, improves intimacy and reduces chances of unfaithfulness by a higher percentage because the honest truth is a partner will think twice before leaving you if you are good in bed.

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Whisper in your partners ear’s during sex in a soft torn, encourage your partner in a positive way, when they do something good during sex tell them there and there


so they keep in mind what you like.

1.2 Take the initiative.

What is killing our sexual life is both the partner are worried and scared to take the initiative to start what they like, be it a sexual position for fear that they will be judged that their sexual position is unholy or inappropriate, you see a woman scared to do the doggy style thinking in her heart

‘my husband is now taking me like a

whore’ or ‘I have sinned’.

The truth is stop being afraid and take the first step towards your partner. If you are the wife just bend and whisper 

‘daddy I want you to try this angle don’t be scared it wont bit’ 

with a little smile you might be shocked that your partner might always have been wanting what you want but was scared of being labeled a freak.

Always remember whatever initiative you and your partner are planning to take should be guided with love, respect and when your partner becomes to uncomfortable just be patient with her or

him and try discuss it before or after sex so that next time they might respond positively.

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1.3 Read books

The bible says ‘rebuke a fool or scoffer and they shall despise you’ and rebuke a men of understanding he shall increase in knowledge. This is what you must put in your mind as to applying to information,

any information that increases you just grab it and leave idle useless information which leads to strive anger hatred in your bedroom.

Grab read digest books about sex concerning the biological nature of men and women , how the other partners body works so you know from the medical aspect how, which and where sensitive places are located e.g. penis head, scrotum are sensitive and pleasurable to a men hence stroke, massage and lick these.

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You can be creative and add oil to make these body parts relax hence this increases the sensitivity : tip for women.

Information is key because it helps you be more confidence and skilled in your bedroom


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Note : a best bedroom performers hands a never stationery or still, they are always moving stroking, tapping, rubbing etc the other partner be it foreplay or during sex.

1.4 Go for seminars.

If telling your partner is not yielding fruits then I suggest you book a front seat at a marriage couples seminar or church conference.

Hear you will be shocked how many couples have the same problems as you have in as far as bedroom issues are concerned.

Never the less they will leave the seminar not feeling humiliated or looked down upon sexually as some partners when they are being told by their spouse to improve sexually this leads them to scoff and later
feel like a less of a person hence overall they won’t learn but seminars you will be plenty hence they won’t feel shame and a relaxed mind is good medicine to learn and improve sexually.

During seminars I urge you to ask as many questions as you can don’t feel shy or that people around you will judge you, they have their own problems that’s why they are there.

1.5 No shaming jokes.

Never joke about your partner’s weak sexual life in a degrading way or in passing as this can completely destroy them in a negative way.

Love is kind and never loses value, a heated argument between a husband and wife have became the source where the jokes come up like

‘your penis is so small I cant feel it

eversharp pen is better’ or ‘you are too fat your body is like a balloon’

or

‘you are weak you cant even last a minute’

these are some of the negative jokes oops!

I almost forgot men usually say ‘you are usually dead during sex like decayed
wood’

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and

‘you are too loose downstairs

you are like a soccer gate’.

Please these shameful words they stay for a long time in people’s hearts even years in their mind and it reduces their stamina.

Instead of dirty jokes please focus on inspiring your partner, say things like

‘hey honey yesterday you where on fire’

or

‘I enjoyed it when you did that’

these words will send chills on your partners spine in turn it gives them more energy to improve their stamina.

Note: Always leave room for change or improvement in your partner.

Note : words are the most powerful way to destroy your lovers sexual life at worst even the marriage itself.

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